“Get your mother to listen! I don’t love her anymore and I don’t know if I ever will”.
Imagine that!
Aside from the fact that my teenage daughter should never have heard that, what on earth made her father think she should even be part of the conversation?
My world came crashing down as the man who I had been in love with for over 25 years, looked through me with a coldness I didn’t know he was capable of and in that moment, no matter what the future held, I knew things would never be the same.
But to the outside world everything appeared normal and we continued living together in the family home. But behind this was the betrayal, the lies, the disrespect and disregard. After I dropped the children at school I returned to a sobbing crumpled heap in the safety of my home. Feeling a failure, worthless and embarrassed that my relationship was unsalvageable and feeling it was because I wasn’t good enough, compounded by being told, who would ever want me with 6 kids!
I was too embarrassed to share what was going on with my closest friends and family. Months down the line I was still in a state of shock, was hardly sleeping, felt this constant crushing feeling in my chest and was physically unwell. It wasn’t until 10 months further on, that unremarkable Saturday morning, that a piece of the old me returned, a piece of self respect and that I told him to leave.
He didn’t believe me and actually laughed at me. I’d expected him to leave for a hotel that evening but oh no, he thought it was just empty words and I didn’t really mean it. So he continued to get into bed with me for a further 2 nights! With me curled up, almost hanging off the side of the bed, lying still and quiet, expecting him to at least leave and sleep on the sofa.
Monday came and that was the beginning of my new life as a single parent.
“Let me be the lynchpin in your break-up support team. Confidential and non-judgemental support, utmost understanding, guidance and practical tools to assist you through this difficult time.“
